Reagan's Blessing Day

Sunday was a very special day. Reagan was blessed by her daddy at our church. He gave her the most beautiful blessing. I was such a proud mommy. Reagan wore the same blessing dress that Sage wore on her blessing day and Sage had a pretty new white dress to wear too. They looked so beautiful. After the blessing everyone gathered at our house for brunch. It was such a beautiful day and we had a lot of family and friends come to support us. Thanks to all of you that came!

Here is everyone that came, minus a few that had to leave right after the blessing. From left to right as best I can (by families): Jake Taylor, Mick, Natalie, Grant, and Fischer Hewitt, Grandpa Harold and Grandma Peggy, Matt and Amy Sterzer, Natalie, Trevor, and Hannah, Brooke and Rich Coles(taking the picture), Chuck and Jacob McGee, Griff and Mindy Christensen, Joe, Heather and Cloe Hansen, Polly, Roland, Abby, Spencer, Lizzy, and Mary Astorga, Sage, Me, Reagan, and Daddy.

Uncle Chuck and Reagan

Reagan's story

I think that it is time that I share with all of my blog followers a little something about my sweet Reagan. I realized the other day that I have failed to mention what we learned about my little girl the day that we left the hospital with her. As I shared earlier we noticed right after she was born that she has four toes on her right foot. This obviously took us by surprise and shock! I was very worried and concerned that she may have other complications. They took her promptly to the nursery. I was not able to spend much time with her right away. I wasn't even able to feed her until I was in my own room. We had a very long day of waiting for the pediatrician to examine her. He didn't come until 9:00 that first night. I was very relieved when he was able to tell me that he believed that it was isolated in only her mid shin down. He ordered x-rays for the next day. I did not know the results of the x ray until day 3 in the hospital. We were packed up and ready to go home when the pediatrician came to discharge us. What came next was quiet a shock. After reviewing the x rays he learned that Reagan was missing her fibula in her right leg. As early as 6 weeks in the womb, for some reason, something went wrong. We don't know why, it just happened. I went through a very emotional next few weeks. I couldn't believe that my little girl had this happen to her. Why her? We have visited Primary Children's Hospital and Shiners Hospital for children. Both places were great to work with. We do not know what we will need to do yet. She is too young to tell and she is sort of in the gray area of knowing what to do. Because she is missing her fibula it causes her leg to be shorter and her foot to be smaller than the other. Because of this it gives us two options. Either to leg lengthen or amputation. Both procedures are hard for me to imagine. We have done a lot of research and a lot of praying. We will be going back to Shriner's in December to do another set of x rays to see how she is growing. Hopefully we will have a clearer answer then. We will make the best decision for Reagan's quality of life. Reagan has brought so much joy and so much strength to me. I hate that this has happened to her, but I can say that I have felt a peace and a strength come over me. I know that our Heavenly Father has heard my prayers. Thank you to those of you who have shown us much love and support. I can also say that my eye's have been opened to a new world and a new perspective on life.

Pictures

I love this pictures of my girls. Sage is smiling so big that her eyes are closed and Reagan is giving me a big grin too! Notice how they both only have on one legging...Nice!

Sage a Daddy at the Phoenix Zoo!

Sage and Mommy on a camel ride!

Reagan my happy girl! She is full of smiles these days!

Sage and Mommy at the pool in Phoenix.

Sage and Daddy getting ready to ride in the lazy river!

Mommy and her girls!

I love this picture even though Sage isn't looking at me, they are so beautiful!

Sage loves to hold Reagan!

That Makes Me Smile

Today Sage looked at Reagan and said, "Where did you get that baby from Mom?"
I asked, "Where do you think I got her from?"
She say's, "From the Doctor."

Scott took me out to lunch for Mother's Day today. It was so nice and I really felt special to have my two girls with me. Sage kept hugging me and rubbing her cheek on mine and saying "You're the best Mom ever."

Today while I was rocking Reagan I was overwhelmed by her sweetness and the spirit she has brought into our home. She melts my heart. I am constantly amazed at how lucky I am to have her as my daughter. She has already brought so much into our lives and lives of others.

These are things That Make Me SMILE! I love being a mom.

Life

This story really hit close to home for me. I thought that I would share it.

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with special needs to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like . . .When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo’s David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting!
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”“Holland?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place.So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. A slower pace than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going to Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.–Author Unknown'

We plan our lives and we think that we have control over it. Then when life doesn't happen how we expect it to it turns our world upside down. I am learning that even though it doesn't always turn out how we planned it, amazing things can still happen. I am learning and growing in ways I didn't think that I could. Most days are good, but some days are hard.

Update!

Well we have survived the hospital and are now in the comfort of our own home. I can't decide if being at the hospital is harder or easier on me! It's nice to have the nursery during the night time, but not so nice to have nurses in and out of the room all night. I was pretty ready to be home by day 3. We came home on Wednesday and my mom arrived Wednesday afternoon. We put her right to work. It was such a blessing to have my mom here to help me! She was able to help me get back on my feet. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, helped with Sage and Reagan, gave support when needed and was basically my secretary! I wasn't up for too much conversation the first couple of days home so she helped me by taking most phone calls! Sorry guys;)

We are doing great and I feel stronger every day! I am trying to adjust to this new schedule. I forgot how tiring it is! Reagan is an absolute doll! We have had pretty good nights with one that was great with 4 hour stretches! I am hoping we can do that more often! Sage is dealing with all these changes very well besides the occasional melt downs! She loves to hold Reagan and sing to her. A huge thank you to all of you that have helped me out by taking Sage! I worry that I have just shipped her away since Reagan has been born. But I also know that she has been having a blast!