Well sleeping boot camp ended up just like my posting about boot camp. It went no where...it is not a good idea to do these things when you are already worn out. Last night Sage got out of bed five times. I was very CONSISTENT in taking her back to bed. (what do the experts know?) I was also very CONSISTENT in getting no sleep. I do feel like I got somewhere with her. She quit fighting me and actually stayed in bed each time without me in the room.
So when all else fails is spanking bad?
What does it do to kids psychologically?
Does it teach them to hit when dealing with conflict?
Can it just be a consequence, no harm done?
I would love to know what everyone thinks about it. I honestly don't like it, but when my kid prefers the naughty spot I have problems! So I am talking last resort here. Post your thoughts!
9 comments:
I think spanking is a perfectly acceptable consequence for their actions. You can only reason so much with a 3 year old, but a good swat right after they have done something wrong usually deters Andi from repeating the offense.
I think Scott should take a turn at putting her back in bed. Josh was always the one to do it and kids don't mess with daddy as much as mommy.
I know that you don't like the idea of locking Sage in her room and that she took the door locks right off, but here's an option that will definitely keep her safely in her room and not wandering around the house in the middle of the night ... you can switch her door knob around so that the lock is on the outside, not the inside. The down side is that you MUST keep a key somewhere in the room so that you both don't get locked in there on accident sometime. Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound too harsh and can be helpful so that you can get your rest before your baby gets here. She'll probably cry and pound on the door for a while since she's used to getting out, but she'll get the idea. With my kids once they understand that I can lock them in, they usually don't come out and I only have to lock it if they keep coming out sometime, not when I put them down to begin with. Good luck w/ bed time and your delivery!
I agree with letting Scott do a shift! Bringing in dad always makes the girls obey better too.
But I also have a three year old that doesn't really care about being in the time out chair and (also as a last resort) we do give her spankings- its more like a swat on the wrist, but it is really effective for her. I think it depends a lot on the child. With Sayla all we have to do is say "no" sternly and she is immediately remorseful. I don't know about long term effects, I'll tell you in 16 years.:) she hasn't had a problem hitting other kids though- but she does spank her dolls when they "make a bad choice". :)
So sorry Di! We were in the same place a couple months ago...we ended up giving up naptime so that she sleeps better at night. nap time is now quite time which works good...and she sleeps at night.
hope it gets better!
I agree with Dena. Locking her in is the best. I did that with Audrey and one day she screamed for 3 hours!!! I know it sounds terrible but if she knew I was going to come and get her then she just kept on doing it. We had to play "chicken" a couple of times and I had to win! One day she just said, "night night Mommy" and that was that. Spanking is okay but I think you will wind up spanking her 10 times a night just like you have been doing with the naughty chair. She is stubborn and to her it sounds like negative attention is better than no attention to her. No attention will cure her I think. I hope she figures this out befor baby sister comes! Good luck!
I am loving your comments. I just wanted to add that Scott does take turns. I just happen to be the mean one! He is much nicer than me and when Sage gets tired of me she starts going to him to save her!
I don't like spanking - for the reasons you listed and many others. I think the lock on the door idea is great. You could even do a slider lock up high on the outside.
I am all for an occasional spanking if the child understands why they are in trouble - Sage totally gets it. And we turned the lock around on our girls room and it is the best thing we ever did! Even if she (and she will) screams and bangs on the door, she can't go anywhere and you can ignore it and get some sleep. :)Good luck!
I wish I had a blog when my kids were little and I had all of your wise advice. I spanked, and I regret it. Don't do it. Yep, they often deserve it, but there are better ways - ones that require you to be in control of your emotions. It only works on the sensitive ones anyway and those are probably the ones who would respond better to other ways. By the way, do you think the doorknob thing would work on teenagers??? LOL
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